There's this here set of questions that's doing the rounds on some of these blogs, and I had ten mins so thought I'd do it as an exercise in self-discovery. And there I am, look, all discovered!
Name: The Jules. Not just any Jules, but THE Jules.
Birth date: One Summer morning in the early seventies, heralded by portentous aurorae and visiting dignitaries.
Current Location: An island in the north Atlantic.
Eye Colour: Grey.
Hair Colour: Greying.
Height: 5’9” – thus securing my position as the World’s Smallest Giant.
Righty or Lefty: Dextra
Zodiac Sign: The Jumping Flea.
Your heritage: From a long line of bastards.
The shoes you wore today: Steel toe-capped boots.
Your weakness: Invulnerability
Your fears: Being stuck in a locked room with two hungry polar bears.
Your perfect pizza: A real man’s pizza, with all cleavers and mahogany on it.
Goal you’d like to achieve: Immortality. Might have to wait a while to see if I’ve made it.
Your most overused phrase on AIM: “FIRE”
Your first waking thoughts: “Better luck next time, Mr Kruger.”
Your best physical feature: My ha-ha.
Your most missed memory: Where I put my keys.
Pepsi or Coke: Either
McDonald’s or Burger King: Neither
Single or group dates: Orgies
Adidas or Nike: Prefer Non-labels
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Beer
Chocolate or vanilla: Either
Cappuccino or coffee: Both
Cuss: Only for fun.
Sing: As above.
Take a shower everyday: Tend to have a shower, rather than take one. But no.
Do you think you’ve been in love: Oh yes.
Want to go to college: Been
Liked high school: Yes
Want to get married: Already there.
Believe in yourself: I’m pretty sure I’m here. Or am I . . ?
Get motion sickness: Never.
Think you’re attractive: Sometimes.
Think you’re a health freak: Nope.
Get along with your parent(s): Yeah - they’ve got half my genes each.
Like thunderstorms: What’s not to like. They’re thunderstorms.
Play an instrument: Ukuleletastic.
LAYER SIX: In the past month…–
Drank alcohol: Yup. In fact, in the last 6 seconds.
Done a drug: Apart from booze and antibiotics, no.
Made Out: Yup.
Gone on a date: Married – but yes!
Gone to the mall?: Yeah, and I work shifts so it’s not too bad in the week. Chuffing awful at the weekend though.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: Nah.
Eaten sushi: Yes.
Been on stage: A small one.
Been dumped: On? Yes. It’s not a good story.
Gone skating: No. And now I want to . . .
Made homemade cookies: You can buy them 6 for a quid at Sainsbury’s.
Gone skinny dipping: Only in the bath.
Dyed your hair: Yeah – grey highlights.
Stolen Anything: Someone’s thunder.
LAYER SEVEN: Ever…
Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yep. S’fun.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: I can’t remember. So yes.
Been caught “doing something”: It’s half the fun . . .
Been called a tease: Nah – I deliver.
Gotten beaten up: Yup. Still missing the tooth.
Shoplifted: No. can’t stand thieving.
Changed who you were to fit in: Possibly, although almost subconsciously as I like to think I don’t care what others think of me. But I’m sure I do a bit.
Age you hope to be married: Minus 6 years.
Numbers and Names of Children: 1 – The Little Jules
Describe your Dream Wedding: Kofi Annan squared up against a purple dragon called Phil, and the profiteroles all had eyes!
How do you want to die: Never.
Where you want to go to college: Done it. A few times. No more though.
What do you want to be when you grow up: More sure of myself.
What country would you most like to visit: New Zealand at the moment.
Number of drugs taken illegally: Four – I get a bigger high rockpooling.
Number of people I could trust with my life: 6 – not including a load of mates who are paramedics.
Number of CDs that I own: about 100.
Number of piercings: None - I like to be unusual.
Number of tattoos: None – I like to be unusual.
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Quite a few, worryingly.
Number of scars on my body: Half a dozen or so.
Number of things in my past that I regret: Oh sweet baby Santa, the barnet. THE BARNET!