Having just had a credit card bill for, and this is approximate, a lot of pounds, it occurred to me that maybe I could be a little more restrained.
Sure, that bat-detector will be useful, at dusk, and who in this day and age can really do without a goose-peeler, but perhaps there were alternatives to some of the luxuries I have treated myself to in the past year.
I don't mean to deny myself, for I deserve lovely things, but why should I spend hard-earned moolah on goodies just so some fat cat in a corner office can have more fizzy wine and another extra large Ferrero Rocher?
Instead, I intend to use my considerably phat skillz to construct things I need, like a chap of yore.
This is not as fanciful as it at first seems, for I do have previous. Apart from my spoon, which is still talked about in hushed awe-laden tones in the fields of carpentry, ergonomics and aesthetics, I have also made other useful things.
For instance, I made a stylish and practical holder for my Blackberry mobile telephone.Thus saving myself a substantial amount of money yet still ending up with a phone cover.
Below is a pic. One of these is a "genuine" professionally made and marketed cover, soullessly gouged from the back of a cow, machine stitched together and implanted with a harsh magnet, then labelled before being sold on the internet like the symbol of capitalism it so obviously is.
The other was lovingly, tenderly crafted from materials originally used as something else, finding new life, a new purpose, in another guise, the epitome of cyclical regeneration, environmental responsibility and fiscal thrift.
I'll leave it to you to decide which one is better, but I think we all know the answer:
I know!
One might argue that I did not simply make a phone cover out of an old sock, but I took away all of the sock that was not phone cover.
Of course, I did have to buy an official leather Blackberry case so I could take a photo of it next to my homemade one, but this is a philosophical point rather than a economic one.
I now have to consider what items, luxury or otherwise, I can make myself. I have a load of spare nails, coat hangers and squirrel tails so the children are going to be okay for homemade toys, but if you have any other suggestions then I'd be happy to hear them.
Unless, of course, it's for homemade bagpipes, because I'm still wanted in Scotland for assaulting that caber tosser.
Brilliant. But how warm are your feet?
ReplyDeleteI'd like to place an order for 15 of your custom-made Blackberry holders, please; I assume you can make them in a splendid array of colors, yes?
ReplyDeleteI say you've just discovered how to make your first million.
I like that you approach DIY with a sculptor's eye. It's art AND frugality.
ReplyDeleteI've been trying really hard to make something useful with the Christmas tree, now that it's down. I've been whittling all day, but nothing yet.
but how do you clip it to your belt, sugar? otherwise, well done you for adaptive reuse! xoxoxo
ReplyDeletehappy new year!
"...took away all of the sock that was not phone cover."
ReplyDeleteYou do deserve lovely things, The Jules. For that sentence alone, even.
You are a talented man, Sir. Really. I can't imagine why Harrod's haven't commissioned that Blackberry holder you made. It's clearly a superior designer item. Probably lots of ultra classy people - the sort who also enjoy fizzy wine and Ferrero Rocher - would rush out to buy it?
ReplyDeleteAmbassador, with these Ferrero Rocher you are really spoiling us!
Happy new year Mr. The Jules.
..at least you will have one warm foot. . all you need now is something to make a sock from? It's truly inspiring to see fashionable items made from recycled objects, but you've set the bar rather high for us mere mortals..
ReplyDeleteSo being hip to this new style of recyclements, which undergarments might be used for a full sized iPad?
ReplyDeleteBaglady - Ta. And one of them is toasty, thank you.
ReplyDeleteDidactic Pirate - Yep. Any colour you want as long as it's black.
Vic - Keep going! Soon you'll have a toothpick to be proud of.
Savvy - Ta. I clip it to my belt with a flexible, longitudinal attachment device. Called string.
Steamy - Ta very much! I think it's an American saying originally, isn't it, only about canoes, rather than Blackberry accoutrement?
Veggie Ass - Damn right. I really ought to patent it. Along with my elastic band bass guitar.
Tempo - If I buy a few more Blackberry holders, I reckon I could get a thick pair of leather socks out of them.
Eric - An iPad sounds like something that goes beneath undergarments anyway.
You should have posted the answer to which is the home made phone cover in your next blog entry. That is what all the big wigs at the TV networks refer to as "building suspense".
ReplyDeleteI was printing out several copies of the picture to hand out to my friends for voting on when you messed up by not having a spoiler alert.
SkylersDad - My marketing team did suggest that, but were overuled by the ethics committee who thought it would be cruel to leave people hanging.
ReplyDeleteGenius. But they don't make clear socks, do they? And I do so love clear phone covers.
ReplyDeleteotherworldlyone - I could cut out and glue some cellophane socks for you. Although that eminds me of the joke about the man who went to his doctor wearing nothing but cellophane underpants and the doc said "I can clearly see you're nuts."
ReplyDeleteAha.
Do you have an Etsy shop yet? And do you have something in an Argyle?
ReplyDeleteyou funny. i'll be back. but i'll be wearing flip flops..in case my socks are in danger.
ReplyDeleteYGTBKM - Seems only fair. I think I can make anything, given enough socks, so I'll give them a call.
ReplyDeletejulochka - Glad to hear it, and welcome! I wonder what I could carve out of flip flops?
But what shall you use the remainder of the sock for? Can you use it as an arm warmer, or a neck warmer? Otherwise the world will be over run by unwanted half socks.
ReplyDeleteMdme DeF - A good point. I may have created a huge problem that no-one can . . . GOOSE NECK WARMERS!
ReplyDeleteCould you make a trap for moth larva. Quick I need one.
ReplyDeletePaula - Strangely, I have actually made these in the past. Honestly. Unfortunately, they're not as effective as a sticky trap with a pheremone tablet in the middle, which you can get quite cheaply.
ReplyDeleteThe Gravel Farm; For all your lepidopteran control advice.
I have seen phone socks... I lucked out and bought one from the dollar store instead of having to make one of my own.
ReplyDelete