Monday, June 17, 2024


Fathers Day yesterday and, 17 years since it first happened to me, I am still amazed that I am one. I got quite a kick out of  my own Dad (now and forever known as 'Grumpy' to his descendants) wishing me a happy Fathers Day in return.


I know. Mad innit?

Seems a bit odd that the universe felt it was perfectly reasonable for me to help produce a couple of new sentient beings when I'm struggling to convince myself this isn't all just a weird simulation. 

Perhaps it doesn't matter. 

We could be in a full, multidimensional consequence of natural law, a spontaneous ripple in the utter static nothingness that would otherwise be. We could be in some sort of large procedurally generated program in a lab next to a thousand others. Maybe everything we know is a naturally occurring hologram on the edge of a singularity or confined within the imagination of a vast dreaming mind with impressive processing power.

Whatever it is, it doesn't take away us having a bit of an exist, and that's got to count for something right?

As a contemporary mammal and for no obvious significant benefit to myself, I obeyed the selfish drive of my genes and beget offspring. As a result I also have to beget a house, some bikes, pets, chicken nuggets, paints, shoes, apples, Lego, Cheerios and now driving lessons!

That's a lot of begetting. And my reward for all this is nothing more than some nebulous yet powerful emotions, a sense of  duty and a warm glow of affection which I suspect is a dribble of oxytocin designed to stop me from eating them like a hamster.

But at the end of the say, when all is did and done, I can't escape the fact that I am extraordinarily grateful to have them, fully aware it wasn't a done deal. They have turned out to be fairly decent human beings that I enjoy having around and it is finally safe to conclude, perhaps tentatively, that I am unlikely to eat them.

Also, for Fathers Day they bought me a T-Shirt with goldfinches on it, which counts for a a lot:

Happy F-day to all the dads and father-figures out there putting the effort in. 

By the way, if you're from the next simulation over, I have so many questions. How fast is your speed of light? Do you have bosons? Did you get anything for fathers day? What flavour Pop-tarts do you have?


  1. Your children are lovely! Yesterday our Krewe called their Dad and wished him a "Happy Hallmark Card Day, Pops!" He said he was glad he decided not leave them at Heathrow all those many years ago when we were coming back from a lengthy stay overseas! (He was joking of course. I think.) xoxo

  2. Ha! Let capitalistic joy be unconfined!

    Imagine what their accents would've been like by now if he had.


I'm going to risk taking comment moderation off for a bit, so if you're a web-bot, a robot, a bot-fly or a bottom-dwelling sediment-feeder, then please refrain from commenting.

Otherwise, have a go. S'fun.