Sunday, May 15, 2011

A standard conversation with a 4 year-old

"What's that door for Daddy?"
"Where?"
"There?"
"Hang on a bit."
"THERE!"
"It's just a door I presume, hang on, your sister's just . . ."
"WHAT'S IT FOR DADDY!"
"Hang on a mo . . ."
"DADDY! AAAGH! THE DOOR! AAAGH! WHAT'SITFORDADDY AAAAGH!"
"Oh for god's sake it's just a door, prob . . . oh."

"What's it for?"
"Well . . . er . . ."
"DADDY!"
"Bats!"
"Bats?"
"Er, yeah. Bats. Big ones."
"Are bats very tall Daddy?"
"What?"
"For the door to be so high up?"
"Well no. They can fly. You know that."
"Oh yes. Daddy?"
"Yes son?"
"I think that door is for people."
"Possibly. Good theory. Let's go with that."
"But why is it there?"
"Maybe it was an upstairs once, but they removed the floor so now it's a door that doesn't go anywhere, and rather than go to all that trouble of removing the door and filling in the doorway, they they just closed it and are hoping no-one goes through to see where it leads. Maybe."
"Daddy?"
"Yes son?"
"Why is it a door?"
"Er . . . because it is."
"Why?"
"Because it is."
             "Why?"
                   "Because it is."
                         "Why?"
                              "Because it is."
                                        "Why?"
                                              "Because it is."
                                                                    "Why?
                                                                         "Because . . .



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20 comments:

  1. aisha hmaeraMay 15, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    lol . haha

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  2. SkylersDadMay 15, 2011 at 3:54 PM

    So did you ever find out what that door is for?

    Huh, did you?

    ReplyDelete
  3. savannahMay 15, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    one of the things i had learned by the time my 4th child was born was to answer questions like that with, "i don't know. what do you think?" xoxox

    ReplyDelete
  4. The JulesMay 15, 2011 at 5:09 PM

    aishah humaira - Glad you lolled!:-)

    SkylersDad - Quiet in the back! Don't make me come back there young man!

    Savvy - Wiseness. Although he would probably answer it with "Why?"

    ReplyDelete
  5. JUST MEMay 15, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    At this point in the conversation, I tend to give kids a piece of candy to save my sanity. It usually works.

    ReplyDelete
  6. BrettheadMay 15, 2011 at 10:36 PM

    I hope you didn't bump into the invisible stairs as you were bumbling about.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The JulesMay 16, 2011 at 7:06 AM

    JUST ME - Not a bad idea, although if I gave my son sweets everytime he asked questions like that I think he'd now be perfectly spherical with no teeth.

    Wow, TWA - Don't be daft. I couldn't find the bannister.

    ReplyDelete
  8. TempoMay 16, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    Ah the joys of parenthood...(have you worked out that it's a lie we tell young people so they don't realize what it'll be like until it's too late?)
    There are many questions that there are really no answers to. Like you I made the mistake of rewarding an inquiring mind, like you I spent an eternity trying to answer the mind numbing questions of my kids before they got bored and moved on without me.
    Your suffering brings me joy!

    ReplyDelete
  9. mapstewMay 16, 2011 at 1:53 PM

    I usually throw in the word 'magic'.

    "It's a magic door, and the magic will be lost if I tell you"!

    Doesn't work now that they're all teens though! :¬)

    ReplyDelete
  10. PearlMay 16, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    The door is there to inspire questions. See how well it worked? :-)

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
  11. The JulesMay 16, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    Tempo - As long as you're happy, that's the main thing. Grr . . .

    Mapstew - Sounds like the science lessons at my school.

    Pearl - EVERYTHING inspires questions! I once got "Why do I ask so many questions, Daddy?"

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nicole Leigh ShawMay 17, 2011 at 3:53 AM

    This is why I think schizophrenia is most commonly triggered in young adults. Young adults with four-year-olds.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The JulesMay 17, 2011 at 8:34 AM

    Nicole - They say madness is indeed hereditary; you get it from your kids.

    ReplyDelete
  14. EricMay 17, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    The door, it's obviously where the 'Stilt Man lives'...

    ReplyDelete
  15. AlysonMay 17, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    Those conversations are so much funnier when I'm not on the "because" side. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. The JulesMay 18, 2011 at 8:23 AM

    Eric - If ever a super-villain could have made an alternative living as an apple picker, there it is.

    otherworldlyone - Why?

    Why?


    Why?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Mandy_FishMay 20, 2011 at 12:35 PM

    The kid makes a damn good point.

    ReplyDelete
  18. The JulesMay 20, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    Mandy_Fish - Don't tell him that. I'd never hear the end of it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. BridgetteMay 21, 2011 at 3:02 AM

    It's always good to know that other parents suffer as I do.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Discount Furniture Santa MonicaNovember 15, 2011 at 1:21 AM

    Ah... Presses moments! Can't wait to be as annoyed by my own future children.

    ReplyDelete

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