The other bloggers also have, on average, nice handwriting. I'm not going to link any of them because it would be like wearing dirty undercrackers and then standing in front of La Senza and pointing out how clean all the knickers are in the window. Ooh, look at Madame DeFarge, look at Savannah, look at UnderOvr. They all have cleaner pants than me.
Damn - linked 'em.
Well, the missus hijacked the computer earlier, presumably to order cushions for her cushion room, and I sat on the opposite side of the table twiddling all my thumbs and practicing my patented Woman, Get Off The Computer stare. Apparently, it needs work because she asked if I needed some prunes. This resulted in no tippetty-typing for me, which was a shame because I had planned to blog up. I sighed melodramatically instead, and declined the prunes.
There was a pad of A4 paper and a pen on the table in front of me, and I thought "It would be really useful to have a prehensile penis like what an elephant has."
Then I saw the paper and pen and thought, "I shall hand-write a blog post!"
And I did.
Now, I'm someone who has to write on a regular basis, but not creatively or for fun, and my reports have to be boringly succinct so they can be filed away and read by precisely no-one, ever. For this reason, my penmanship is pretty average, and by average I mean cack.
No matter, I thought, I shall have a go. And as an extra constraint, I shall make myself have but one go, and not allow any crossings out or tippexing. That way, anyone who deigns to look at it will get a more unfettered view of how I operate.
So here it is:
You can see I was quite enthusiastic to begin, and carefully scrawled as neatly as possible, but you'll soon note that I start to lose interest and gradually resume my normal apathetic calligraphy.
If you find you can't read it then, if I were you, I would count my blessings, frankly.
I think, I THINK that your handwriting indicates that you are a serial killer...or a Presbyterian. I am a little rusty on my graphology. All I know is the swoop of your fs is a bit bone-chilling.
ReplyDeleteMy handwritting analysis indicates you are slightly optimistic, somewhat carefree, approximately 5' 11" tall, brown hair, and have an unhealthy attraction to giraffes.
ReplyDeleteGood job.
Nice penmanship,and not bad illustration either.
ReplyDeletewell done, sugar! love the blog post title, too! it most certainly caught my eye. xoxox
ReplyDeleteYour giraffe has a perforated line along the very top of his fat hangy part. Is that the surgeon's preoperative guideline? Is his tongue out because he's sedated? Your giraffe is going in for a tummy tuck, isn't he? Oh, the pressure on a young giraffe these days. I blame the media.
ReplyDeleteGreat hand job.
ReplyDeletei teach cursive writing. now there's a lost art!
ReplyDeletexxalainaxx
What's up The Jules?
ReplyDeleteIt's been a while since I stoped by my friend. I'm no graphologist, I'm not a fat man but on occasion, I can eat my share of pie.
What do I interpret from your writing style? Don't ask, don't tell (that's my motto).
That giraffe looks like it has a case of cellulite.
It doesn't sound like the prune-eyed look is working with the missus.
Aside from that, I enjoyed your post.
U
Hand job; well done.
ReplyDeleteGirafe steak; rare please.
It's hard to do a spell check on the paper. I find myself going through lots of stationary...
Thanks for the post!
So I'm not the only one who dribbles on the windaes outside of La Senza then?
ReplyDeleteTC - Sounds about right. And I didn't realise my swoopy fs was showing. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteEric - Worryingly accurate, apart from the height. I'm 5'9", the world's smallest giant.
Thinkfyou - Ta very much!
Savannah - Aha, we now know the sort of thing that gets your attention! Good girl!
Steamy - Often it's a self image thing. That one was very sensitive about it's height.
CatLadyLarew - I aim to please.
Miss A - What about taxidermy? You could teach that as well.
UnderOvr - Welcome back old bean! Glad you liked it and I hope your gnashers are coming along well.
f8hasit - The undo only works if you write in pencil as well, although the copy and paste is fun.
Jimmy - They're a far cry from grey knickers with reinforced gussets and darned knees, aren't they?
The giraffe is so cute! I think my Lucy in the backyard will fall in love instantly: she likes a little junk in the trunk, and the front, and the side, oh, she just likes a lot of junk alright!
ReplyDeleteI fat giraffe! Indeed the best companion to any hand written post!
ReplyDeleteMy kids take over the computer quite a bit, and despite Jeremiah's promises to present me with a powerbook, I still have to wade through three children and their on looking baby brother to use the computer other than early in the morning or late at night.
This is wonderful, but I won't be following suit with this meme, or whatever we call peer pressure these days.
ReplyDeleteMy handwriting resembles several chickens battling to the death over the last little chuck of crack.
Ladytruth - We should introduce lucy to the ectomorphic giraffe then! It can reach the highest of deep-fried branches.
ReplyDeleteErin - I think I would leave Jeremiah some gentle hints, like slapping a Post-It on his forehead with "Get Me A Laptop!" on it.
SkylersDad - That sort of handwriting is called personality, that is. BLOG IT!
What are the things on top of a giraffes head? Are they antennae?
ReplyDeleteAl - Horns. And they will properly twat one another with them as well.
ReplyDeleteAwesome to watch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7HCIGFdBt8
Your handwriting is a lot like mine... only readable. Mostly.
ReplyDeleteI wish the Blogger editor had a script font... then I could fake it.
Douglas - lol @ 'Mostly.' Are you longing for the day when we need never pick up a pen again?
ReplyDeleteWow your handwriting's about as good as mine. Are you left-handed also, perchance?
ReplyDeleteNice giraffe.
(PS Hello The Jules, I have seen you about on other people's blogs and am pleasantly surprised to find that your blog is as funny as your comments!)
Wow! Feeling a bit spoilt, that was like getting two posts for the price of one! I do like a bargain.
ReplyDeleteI think your handwritings quite good ... for a bloke. :P