Thursday, November 17, 2011

Roll Me Over, In A Rover

Thought I'd do a quick ambulance related post, because I spend so much of my life in one.

Got called to a crash a few weeks ago and, after the (luckily minimally injured) patient had been packaged up and sent off to hospital, I took a cheeky couple of snaps in the name of blogging reflection and learning:

I'll just park this here.

This is technically termed a "roll over" for mysterious reasons that elude me. It had narrowly missed a snack van in a layby where a queue of people were treated to the alarming spectacle of a car doing some acrobatics just a few metres away, before coming to a rest in a ditch. The driver then got out and staggered around for a bit holding his neck before we managed to catch him and stop his head falling off with some judicious immobilisation.

Okay, so he wasn't really that badly injured. The use of the spinal collar, full body vacuum splint and seven or eight large bore cannulae in his jugular might just possibly have been a teensy touch over the top, but you can never be too sure with this sort of mechanism of injury. Also I need the practice.

But what could possibly have caused such a loss of control? The driver swore he wasn't going too fast. He wasn't over the limit, hadn't taken any drugs or medication that could have affected his driving, and had apparently simply turned the corner and lost it. He seemed genuinely upset that he had been so unlucky, as he'd been driving for years and never had an accident before.

We made sympathetic sounds and told him, at the end of the day, he was still talking so there were reasons to be cheerful. He wasn't overly receptive to our pleasantries though and I suggested that, sometimes, you just had to chalk these things up to the vagaries of the universe.

It's a mystery, beyond the ken of mere humans to solve, completely unfathomable and utterly unpreventable

At least until you looked at his tyres:

The Telly Savalas of the tyre world.
I've seen more tread on an eel.

When I left the scene, the unamused police were heading off to the hospital to see the driver. On the way, they told me, they were going to find a nice heavy book to throw at him.


  1. Haha "I need the practice" !?! Don´t you have those dummy torsos for that kind of thing? Tut tut, fancy using a well-tossed patient as a guinea pig! If your bosses read this they´ll probably find an even bigger book to throw at you ;)

  2. Joe - Pfft. The dummies are all the way over in training school, and I haven't got time to drive all the way there. It's nearly five miles you know!

  3. "...more tread on an eel."

    I can only hope to use that some day. I love it.


  4. Who needs tread when you have cat-like reflexes and Michael Schumacher skills!

    Or maybe not...

  5. Pearl - Glad you did! The opportunities to use it must surely arise every day!

    SkylersDad - Bald tyres just add an extra exciting dimension to the dull commute.

  6. Whoah-those are some bald tires.
    You are a paramedic?
    That seems like an unbearably tense job.
    large bore cannulae sounds like something you get from being "popular" in prison.

  7. Blog fodder. Edifying the virtual commons. Pffft... a distinction without a difference. I agree with the full body vacuum splint, considering this patient’s tendency to roll off of things.

    There are no annual vehicle inspections in Florida like there were in New York. Bald tires are the least of our hazards. If a Hoveround doesn’t get you, a Hummer probably will.

  8. gweenbrick - Ew. Nasty. And don't worry, it's actually a bearably tense job.

    Jeux - I don't know what a Hoveround is. Does it hover? If it hovers, I want one!

  9. Yep, not a bright bloke was he... It amazes me that people who can afford a nice car wont spend the money for a decent set of tires. Over here our roads are straight and mostly dry and STILL you can feel it when the tires get down to the last 1/4 inch of tread. . . and I never let a tyre get lower than that.
    Still though...if it weren't for doubtful thinking temporary citizens you wouldn't have as much to do would you?
    Kymbo from Set the Tempo

  10. Good God! I usually take it with a grain of salt when mechanics tell me to keep an eye on my tread because hello! You're mechanics, you want my money, my tyres are fine. Because mostly, they are. But THAT? Holy crap. That tyre is smoother than Tom Jones at a Ladies Tea Social.

  11. Kymbo - Good point. Daftness often keeps me in work! Welcome along, by the way.

    Veggie Ass - Ha. That is pretty smooooooth. And don't fret. As long as you've got between three and five tyres and roughly one engine, you should be fine.

  12. In my favorites list on my browser I just happened to have your The Gravel Farm right next to The 7MSN Ranch in my blog subdirectory. I'll keep you in suspense by not letting you know which one is closer to the top.

  13. esbboston - Ha. Thank you very much. I shall now be going to check out my competition.

    You ,too?
    ZETAS 99 in ONTARIO with NAT & RAP?
    " Pathetic".
    Well your ZETAS 99 just fucked DASSAULT.
    So much for " MACHO".
    UTAH and BILL CLINTON were the " LAMS"?
    hahahah...jerk- offs.

  15. damn, i thought i'd left a comment here, sugar! :( xoxoxox

  16. Savvy - You have! I can see it right there look!


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