Friday, December 28, 2012

So That Was Christmas

As we are all aware from copious adverts, blanket publicity and saccharine marketing campaigns from multinational corporations intent only on making us better people, christmas is a time for giving. There is nothing more noble and appreciated than giving, it would appear. I'm not totally sure about that because I gave someone a cold sore once and they were less than amused.

It's not just individuals who can give at christmas, but organisations as well. For instance, after sending my mobile phone back to my supplier because, as I told them, it had a faulty battery, they kindly gave it back to me still in situ only with a helpful label on it:

The new Samsung Faulty range was not a marketing success

Of course, it would have been more generous had they sent a working battery, but at nearly five quid that would have been far too generous for a tiny start up company like Virgin Media.

My own employer was also in a giving mood this festive period, and we had a new water dispenser installed in our ambulance station so we no longer have to lick condensation off the windows (which  was unnerving the firefighters in the adjacent station and putting them off their porn and fry ups).

Emblazoned in bold type on the front is the name of the water dispenser. Sure they could have gone for something corporately acceptable and expected  like 'AquaTech' or 'HydroSpurt' maybe, but no. The mind responsible for product nomenclature in this company, presumably ensconced somewhere on the right side of the autism spectrum that we all occupy to some degree, went for something much greater:

Behold, the Double Ay Double Three Double Zero Ex!

That, my friends, is the AA3300X.

An awe inspring name I think you'll agree, possibly more suited to a merciless robotic killing machine than a water cooler but that just adds to the impact. I insist on calling it by its full name whenever it comes up in conversation.
"Just going over to the AA3300X. Anyone want any AA3300X juice?"
"Are there any AA3300X cups?"
"Deploy the AA3300X!"

I'd like that trend to continue. Maybe bring out a new stapler called the PX-Buffalo or a Desk-Hawk Z9000 Tactical Hole Punch.

Anyway, this time last year I was in melancholy mood as I was at work, and blogged about it because that's what I do. I complained (a bit) about not getting into the christmas spirit which is understandable when one has to treat it like any other working day.

This year was a smidgen different though. I got given a new knife and a book on whittling, and also some booze because it's a classic combination, but I was also given a particularly valuable gift that would have been quite difficult to wrap.

I got gifted the gift of . . . *profound face* . . . time.

Obviously I don't mean someone gave me a watch, even if they are also difficult to wrap. No, this year I was one of the lucky few granted annual leave over the festive period, so didn't have to go to work and instead got to witness the full delights of my offspring opening their presents, open mouthed and agog at how prescient Santa must be to know exactly what they wanted, even though they've talked of nothing else since September.

Apart from the occasional thought about how much cheaper this time of year would be if I had naughty children, I really enjoyed myself and definitely did get into the spirit of things. I appreciated the food, the merriment, the indoor conifers, the stupid hats, the company and the giving. I suppose it seemed even more special because time off with my family . . . well, it's not a given.

I'm working over the new year, but I think I can manage that without undue grumpiness now.

Here's wishing you and yours a very happy one.

19 comments:

  1. working through New Years?..at least you will have lots of cool 'drank too much, made an ass of myself' blog stories for next year.
    So glad you finally got to see what all your hard work and money brings, many minutes of smiles.. I had a quiet one, my family seem to have all moved away..or forgotten that I exist..something like that.

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    1. Tempo - Ah, sounds like bliss. The quiet xams, not the working New Years. I'll probably be spending it trying to decide if the hammered person with the head injury is concussed or just pissed.

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    2. If in doubt, go for pissed...

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  2. It must feel weird being called to an emergency on Christmas Day. I don't suppose you bothered exchanging Christmas greetings.

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    1. GB - More likely explaining to someone that the chest pain he's having is more likely to be caused by eating half a turkey than a heart attack.

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  3. Glad you got a chance to enjoy some “profound face time” at home with the family this year. But if “AA3300X” is obscure, “Profound Face Time” is overly-descriptive, but in a weird way. It sounds vaguely like an English rendering of a Chinese product. They should have switched names with the water cooler. That way your holiday would have had a corporate and pleasantly neutral designation, leaving its connotation to you, dammit. And the Profound Face Time water cooler, which was probably made in China, would have inspired the usual bemusement.

    I had a young student many years ago who preferred Halloween to all other holidays because (from his boyish perspective, obviously) “everybody gets and nobody has to give.” He hadn’t yet discovered the joy of giving.

    That, I deeply suspect, has by now changed.

    Hoping the year ahead is paved with a minimum of dead squirrels and new construction, and that all your face time is refreshing...

    Cheers

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    1. Jeaux - Ha. There should be an Old English Proverb that says "May you live in Profound Face Times."

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  4. Always a delight.

    I've nothing more to add.

    Pearl

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  5. Do you pick straws to decide who gets to get the time off?
    Anyhow, I apologise in advance for what might happen on New Year's Eve :-)
    Sx

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    1. Scarlet Blue - Sadly not. It's a relentless rota that rolls onwards, regardless. The annual leave is on a first come first served basis, and I got in their like a rat up a proverbial! No need to apologise for your future shenannigans. Stay safe! x

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  6. Is that a water filter or some sort of nuclear bomb deployment system!

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    1. Kellie - Could be either. The water was pretty heavy.

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  7. it's been fun being out here on the west coast aka los angeles, with the coconut krewe and not having to worry about doing anything! be well, stay safe and happy new year, sugarpie! xoxoxox

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    1. Savvy - And to you my dear! We'll test out the new year and if it's any good send it on round to you. x

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  8. You should install some sort of a device that will remotely disconnect power from the wall to the AA3300X. Because as science fiction movies have taught us, it is only a matter of time before it becomes sentient.

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    1. SkylersDad - It's not so much the autonomous super robot lurching down the street that concerns me, but the inconvenience of chasing it down with a small paper cup when you want a drink.

      "Oi! AA3300X! Get back here NOW! Don't make come and get you!"

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  9. Dude, it's already out of date. Our office just got the AA3500X (beta).

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    1. Eric - NOOOO! Run away! It'll enslave you all!

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