Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Balance this!

A balanced diet consists of, according to our Dept o' Health, fruit and vegetables; bread, other cereals and potatoes; meat, fish and alternatives; some dairy, fat and sugar. They haven't mentioned brown sauce, which I'm sure is simply an oversight, but I get the impression this is a fairly accurate piece of advice.

I don't require the ignorant witterings of self-appointed nutritional therapists with worthless diplomas and no scientific knowledge whatsoever to tell me what's good for me, or what's bad for me, or what's a new miracle food because it's a berry, and it's purple, and the Aztecs used it as a cure for IBS. As a contemporary western male with an education and the ability to have nuggets of wisdom drawn to my very fingertips by way of internet tubes, I am aware of the dangers of not eating variety, and the benefits of ensuring I eat a balanced diet.

It's common kowledge. Common sense even.

However, I'm also a typical bloke, which is why my dinner today consisted of this:

MANFOOD! Guh. Guh. Guh.

Obviously, I heated it up a bit first.

And I stuck one slab of meat between two pieces of bread, so that varied things up a bit. Oh, and I had Barbadosian Hot Sauce on it, which is not only a separate foodstuff, but practically a different type of matter to that usually found in the universe.

Now if that's not varied, I don't know what is.


  1. Nawght wrong with dead cow... it's manfood, it doesn't have to be that well done, personally I like it bloody rare.


  2. Yeah, just wait. You'll get old and fiber, fish, and fowl will start to look more favorable.

    I still like a steak now and then but much less than I used to. But pork chops and bacon keep me from being a vegetarian...or Jewish, I guess.

  3. what exactly is brown sauce?

    here in the states ketchup counts as a vegetable, at least when it is served as part of the federal school lunch program.

    i have been eating a lot of manstuff lately. i like what the dude said about bacon, for the longest time that was the only meat i would eat.

    xxmiss alaineusxx


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